The story of my family ….. and the abortion!

We live in days when the word “abortion” is used almost endlessly, TV, radio, Internet, newspapers and magazines, in sermons, political speeches, in debates; is the word that almost divided America, if not the world, in two categories of people: pro-life and pro-choice. Each group has its experts, its proselytes, evidences, explanations…..

Even the Christian world, or rather “Christians”, starts to accept this word, such as abortion would be normal in terms of rape, incest, when birth could endanger the mother’s life.

But what the Word of God says? So where goes our faith? If a hair falls not without God, if so beautiful lilies grow without human intervention, if the birds and lion cubs are in God’s hands not to starve, so where should worry us when is about life that God gives and He takes?

These questions along with the event this week (birthday of the second girl, Sorina – important person in our family story) prompted me to write this confession.

God is the same yesterday, today and always will be with those who trust in Him…

This is our story, the Rest of the Story:

PART ONE…..

We were a young family; I was 24 years old, my wife Coca 21, married for 5 years. We had a girl of 3 years and a half old, Andreea, and look forward to the birth of the second child in early 1986. Everything seemed normal and nothing predicted the clouds that were preparing to stray on our family. The news fell like a thunder upon us.

My wife gave birth to a beautiful girl but with a terrible diagnosis: tetralogy of Fallot (TOF).

At that time, I was working as a builder on one campus at a distance of 100 miles. I received disturbing news over the phone; I left everything and went home where I found my wife in the hospital in a deplorable situation. It should be noted that all this is happening in communist Romania, where I did not own car and a 100-mile journey took me about 8 hours, by bus, by train, another bus again. I arrived at the hospital Friday night but by the laws of that time l could not get in the hospital with the exceptions of the visiting days which occur to be Thursday and Sunday afternoon from 2pm to 4 pm. However, with few friends working at the hospital, I was dressed in clothes as a physician, I walked in, and I sat down with my wife and arranged an appointment with a specialist doctor, who was on duty that night. The conversation with him bring no hope: the little girl was very sick, with no chance to do well. Because of the heart failure, our daughter was born with multiple physical malformations at hands and feet. The doctor explained that we will raise a disabled child for life. Seeing my facial expression, the doctor told me to go with him to see the girl. I entered the room where she was and saw a face like an angel, a girl of great beauty but when he unveiled her I understood what the doctor said.

He asked me to have wisdom and know how to behave with my wife because she is in a critical situation, in addition to complications from birth, in addition to daughter’s illness, now appeared the harassment from others: knowing that we are Pentecostal believers in a country where over 90-95% were Eastern Orthodox, they blamed our faith and our God. I was born Pentecostal but my wife was converted only a few years ago and now all one accused her that she was punished by God because she left “the true religion” and went to the sectarians, as we were called.

After a week … (speechless, no comments) … girl which we named Mihaela ended physical suffering on this earth and went to God. Medical doctors say it is a result of the Chernobyl nuclear explosion, our town is situated only 400 miles away.

 PART TWO …..

Not without trace our lives seem to normalize. Family relationships have been strengthened in this struggle time and we try to look confident forward. There’s only been about ten months and to our joy, but also with emotions, we received the news that my wife is pregnant again. Knowing what we went through less than a year, in addition to joy, our hearts especially Coca’s was full of worry and fear of the unknown. Prayers have gained another level and nine months passed like an eternity.

Finally it’s time to go to the hospital. This time I was in town, and because I cannot stay with her in the hospital like here in the USA, I returned home. The apartment where we live was only 1 mile from the hospital. At around 10 pm the phone rang and I was called to the hospital.

Within minutes I was there and the news is given: my wife gave birth to a girl (again) with the same diagnosis and the same malformations.

For the second time in less than 18 months (now being September 1987) we were get hit terribly. My wife was still shocked by the news received, according to doctors she was very close to a total collapse. Everything disappeared from our horizon. A young family sat on the verge of downfall. No explanation. Nothing to be understands. If the first case took us by surprise, now was not the same. After nine months of ceaseless prayer same result? Lord, we have left? We are so sinful that this is punishment? The questions were many and the sky looked dark for us.

Time passed already…..were three weeks after the birth of daughter named Daniela. She still was in the hospital, the doctors still could not find explanation in this case: two identical girls like copy-paste, the same physiognomy, with the same weight, same length and with the same diagnosis. Our town being small, only 25,000 inhabitants, the old chicanes, the old harassment  the old ridicule start again. More difficult as the first time, now the church began to gossip and extended family had their own interpretations. Two young, me 26, my wife 22, get hit from all sides and above everything we felt abandoned by God.

After about four weeks we decided to go together to the hospital and take the little girl home. If God want, we will grow a little girl handicapped…..we will.

In that night we both got peace, unbelievable peace and we are looking forward to do what we wanted…… was a long night, though longer than usual and towards morning the phone rang. We are called from the hospital.  They tell us that during the night the little girl died. We buried her in the same place with her sister. Mihaela and Daniela were now together, and home we try to go forward with our oldest daughter, 4 and a half years old, Andreea.

In Romania those years, abortion was forbidden by law. Who commit abortion went to jail. However bans, my wife received approval (in her situation, almost enforceable) from doctors that if she get pregnant again she is allowed to make abortion because she will never have a healthy baby. Similarities from two cases prompted doctors to conclude that my wife created a body pattern which will not be able to be change and every child that she will have will be the same. A second option would be after would have been slightly recover  to go to do surgery not to have any children, ever. It fell as a conviction for us at least for two reasons: the idea of abortion cannot be questioned and my wife wanted to have at least one more child.

We are slammed down but not defeated. God was in our hearts stronger than ever.

 PART THREE ……

And faith attempt has rapidly developed. Less than five months my wife gets pregnant again. Peace of God remained over us especially as it was not long since we received a prophetic word that said my wife was fully cured and what is conceived in it will be a blessing from God and that that before know ourselves as Coca pregnant.

We trusted in Him and we even told as three young Israelite told to Nebuchadnezzar once before: even if God does not intervene, we will never accept abortion.

For all we knew the news fell like a thunderbolt. For many, our story was still topic of discussion and on the horizon they already see a new drama, including loved ones.

In Romania was the law that if a woman conceives must register at the clinic in 45 days, officially for help, counseling, treatments, but informal to control and not to give the possibility of an illegal abortion.

So, my wife is pregnant. What to do? We prayed and my wife received a thought from God to not register to doctors: as a “medical examination” they can provoke an abortion without our consent, knowing the history of her births. After seven months when the pregnancy was already visible but too late for doctors to do anything against Coca’s child, she went to the hospital at the first medical examination. Doctors have offended her, threatened to the point where she will not get to the hospital for delivery. We had to go to another town, 25 miles away when time for delivery approach.

It was November 1988. Harsh winter, cold, snow……..

But what God has spoken happened.

Despite all medical diagnoses, on November 16, 1988, by C-section, my wife gave birth to a girl of 10 lb., perfectly healthy, as a blessing as God said. In 16th, this month, Sorina will turn 24 years …… if it was after the doctors she had not place in this world, neither she nor other two children born naturally (not by C-section) after her, Beatrice in 1993 and Daniel in 1995, both of New York.

Abortion-Unsupported word of believers……..for any reason!!!!!!!!!

EPILOQUE……

These are the three children born through promise and obedience when everyone condemned them to be killed…..

Really? Which one?

SORINA?

She finished music college with major in vocal, very good cook, involve in Central Church of God Charlotte, missionaries with mission trips in Mexico, Hungary, Dominican Republic and Taiwan….

2017 Updates…

Sorina is a succesful lady in an insurance company in Charlotte and team-worshiper and singer in a Christian Church…

BETTY?

She loves God, singing from the age of five years in the church girls choir , sophomore in journalism school with double major in journalism and political since, very active in mission like her sister with mission trips in South Africa and Romania….

2017 Updates…..

Betty graduated with Summa Cum Laude at Walter Cronkite Jurnalism at ASU, did internship at Phoenix City Hall, produced documentary movies on Channel 11 Local, and now continue her Study at Hillsong International Leadership College in Sydney, Australia, second year studying Pastoral Leadership, and being fluent in Spanish, possible to go in South America at Hillsong Buenos Aires after finish third year…..

DANIEL?

Senior in high school, active in the church with children, worship band where he play piano, pursue credentials in theology, future pastor of the church…

2017 Updates…..

Danny dreams come true….he just Graduated from Hillsong International Leadership College, in Sydney Australia, is back in Phoenix volunteering at Hillsong Phoenix opened last year, continue studying at Dallas Baptist University and preparing to full time job in Ministries.

If my wife had an abortion we would have destroyed three workers in the Lord’s vineyard…. three people whom God uses since childhood.

If my wife had an abortion, we were criminals, murderers, because we have killed these three children with a specific path in life from God….

But God protected us, save us and He don’t let His Children to be murderers!

We are children of God and with all my whole family we serve Him!!!

IMG_0699

*****Cornel, Coca, Daniel, Andreea with her daughter Caitlin, Sorina, Betty*****

Was it hard? Unimaginable……

It was worth it? Earnestly say yes……

We can explain? No …… but it is not important! Looking back, we know that God has not left us any moment and even when was our hardest we know that He was with us and that ultimately, victory is His….to us, He allowed only being partakers with Him.

Praise the Lord!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!

12 comments on “The story of my family ….. and the abortion!

  1. Wow, what an inspiring story! And what an example of trusting in God despite the circumstances and persecution not only from without the church, but even from within, with their judgmental attitudes. Yet we can see how God built your faith through every step. What an honor to know these details and see God’s hands at work in your kid’s lives today. May God use your family mightily in the work of His kingdom.

  2. Our Great God, Nothing is Impossible to Us Who Believe! Thanks for sharing the Depths of your Heart. You have laid open your Heart for All of us. Blessings.

  3. Pingback: Povestea familiei mele si …..avortul! | cornelilioi

  4. Pingback: A Miracle Living… | ENCOURAGE by cornelilioi

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